Why Are They Always On Their Phone?!

As I write this post I am doing every calming method in the book.

Breathing in and out, counting ten, imagining being on beach...

But it doesn't seem to be working.

Does anyone else share my frustration?

The frustration of a friend/ partner or child who lives their life on their phone.
You have to call their name so many times that that you give up and whatsapp message them instead. It seems as if they spend hours scrolling through the same stuff of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and all you are trying to do is save them from becoming emotionless robots.
Long gone are the days of face to face conversations or asking how someones day was.
You'll be mid-conversation and you realise that they have checked-out out and checked-in to a new conversation on whatsapp, leaving you feeling unworthy of their precious time.
Meanwhile you give up and they pick and choose when they want the restart the conversation again. You, being left on 50% energy from this mediocre conversation don't pay attention as to where the conversation is going but wait! they laugh, that means they were actually listening and also means you told a joke that was actually worthy of their golden time.
You look over to acknowledge your prize for joker of the year and no.
By no I mean it wasn't you that made him laugh, it was that stupid group chat.
The group chat that has their phone buzzing 24/7 and apparently deserves more attention than you. The day goes on, private joke after private joke, you being left as a third wheel to a relationship with a mobile device.
Then, the magic words pass their lips "my phone died", but of course you act disappointed and frustrated "damn, stupid iPhones".
Now, it is your chance to to have a real conversation, you get a little bit nervous as you've been preparing for this ALL DAY but then they look as if they are going to say something and you feel proud and excited all at the same time because they are actually making an effort with you and they say "I'm tired, Goodnight baby"...And the frustration begins all over again. Welcome to a day in the life of a modern day relationship :)

Why You Should Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

We have all done it and probably will do it again sometime in our not-to-distant future.

Feeling sorry for yourself. If you're like me then the reason you feel sorry for yourself is because it feels good. When you feel sorry for yourself what you are really telling yourself is that you are a better person than the situation that has been dealt to you. And that is a very arrogant way of thinking.

It would be a better attitude for us to think 'Damn, I didn't get that job. Better luck next time'. The trouble comes when something really hard happens and we chose to stop and milk it for attention. There is no progress in that and it gets us nowhere. It can also be quite annoying.

When you go to the gym. You are not building your muscles. You are literally tearing them down. When you lift weights you are doing damage to your muscles. The reason your muscles grow is because your body goes into repair mode so that next time you lift the weight, it won't hurt.

It is like that with our emotions too.

Once we experience something hard. It tears us down and really hurts.

We screw up and embarrass ourselves or lose a job and have no money. But honestly, there is not a bad thing that won't return a greater blessing. We will always come out stronger and life will throw a lot of pain at you, to the point where you think it is all a joke.

But why shouldn't we feel sorry for ourselves?

We shouldn't feel sorry for ourselves because it stops us from gaining that emotional muscle. We can either have the blessing of a stronger character or the instant gratification of self-pity.

What we have to do instead is to ask ourselves what we can learn from the situation.

If it was our fault, we have to take ownership of what we did.
If it wasn't our fault, then we have to realise that there are no flowers without rain.

I have to check myself everyday for thoughts of self-pity. It won't come overnight but if you want to be successful in life then take every chance to grow and adapt, including the shit situations!

Why Is Being Patient So Painful Nowadays?

It is true.

For me, being patient is almost as painful as watching grass grow.

I have a lack of patience. In fact, our generation has a lack of patience. Living in a generation where we can solve many of our problems with a few taps on our phone has drained our generation of any patience that was originally there.

Thank you, technology for your ability to turn a generation of kids who had the patience to solve Rubix Cubes, the patience to think of 100 different type of Neopets names (90's kids, please tell me you know what I am on about? If not you were robbed of a significant part of your childhood) and the patience to watch movies when they actually came out on DVD.

This development of technology has made us believe that if we want or need something we can and should get it when we want. This is unrealistic and puts a stupid amount of pressure on...

Our Education..."Why have I not learnt everything I was told in lecture today? I am going to fail!"
Our Careers..."I should be further in my career by now, I am not going to make it like I thought I would"
Our Relationships..."You need to change now, otherwise we can't be together"

Dramatic, but realistic thoughts that have developed because we have been built to believe anything can happen at a snap-of-the fingers.

We need to be taught the art of patience and waiting and I don't mean waiting for something to be dropped into your hands but working hard and striving, knowing that your hard work will not instantly be paid off.

How painful does that sound? But it's life and something that we all need to accept!

"White People Music"

Man, I have been asked this a lot.

I don't limit myself to one genre of music but it is only when I listen to pop or an alternative genre of music that I get asked this question. Though technically "white people music" isn't a genre, it is just a way of segregating people into groups. Music can be powerful but what is unity without segregation in this generation? 

Just a quick reminder that music has no race. Just because it may appeal to one race more than the other means nothing. Listen to what you like and enjoy, whether it is the most overplayed song on the radio or an unknown song from Soundcloud. Music is music. 

*listens to Lady Gaga*

  

The Pressures & Struggles Of Coming From A Mixed Heritage Background

Now, today we are going to get deep. We are going to discuss something personal to me and many others. Something that we may not think about everyday or even every week but has affected us at some point in our lives.

The pressures of coming from a mixed heritage background.

There. I said it. There are pressures.

Pressure to have thick curly hair.
Pressure to have perfectly smooth light skin.
Pressure to have blue or green coloured eyes.
Pressure to have curves.
Pressure to look like the glorified mixed people people on social media.

Just like anything repetitive event in your life, you get used it.

You know you're mixed when people feel entitled to know "what" you are.
When people think its okay to claim or reject you for their race whenever it is convenient to them.
When you can't relate to either side of your family because you weren't raised in their culture.
When people express that "they wish they had your skin tone".
When you have to tick a generalised term on application forms such as "other" or "black and white african".
When people accuse you of siding with one side of your culture, agreeing to the fact that yes you are mixed but you act white or behave black.

When really, that's all you've known and you're just being you.

And what do people expect you to say when...

They ask you why your african heritage hasn't given you curly hair
or the curvaceous body your ancestors possess?
Why you you don't have the blue eyes of your mother?
Or why you listen to 'white' music.

We do not realise the ignorance behind these questions until we take a step back.

As a child of mixed-heritage, I do feel privileged. But not because of my skin tone. I feel privileged because I have a true understanding of two cultures and that is something most people will not have the chance to experience.


✌️🏽

F**cking Life, Or Is Life F**cking Us?

Sometimes you just have to swallow your words and wait.

Wait for things to blow over or get better or to be forgotten.

That is the hardest lesson of life. Learning to be patient, learning that time is the only true healer.

When you have found something or someone you love. Hold on to it and work at it everyday, if you think you're going to be given your dream job or a perfect husband on a silver platter, you've misunderstood life. Life challenges us in ways that not one single human could.

One moment you will have things under control and then the next it will be shattered into pieces waiting for you to put it back together. You are in control of your life and what you do, humans are programmed to be selfish so don't expect anyone to come and help pick up your pieces when they have pieces of their own to be putting back together.

There will be times when you are frustrated, confused, angry and annoyed...sometimes all at once. Trust your journey and know that every negative thing you go through is helping you become who you are supposed to be.

Whether you fall in love with something or someone. Do it for the rest of your life. Brace yourselves for the cliche of the year...life is fucking short. When you are laying in bed mad at your boyfriend, girlfriend or friend, or just frustrated that you have not made the progress you would have wanted to by now in your career. Just think, if you haven't given up by now, the motivation and love is still there; anything worth having will not come easy. I really do not believe in giving up anymore, not that I have believed in it but I did give up a lot when things were hard. If you want something...fight for it (another saying that probably has you cringing in your seats). Allow yourself to be shamed, taken advantage of or embarrassed. If the love is real and the passion is there, it will be worth it.

You're thinking "fucking hell, that's a bit dramatic". Well, welcome to life, where everything is blown out of proportion and people are taken for granted everyday.

We don't have enough days in our life time to be mad at people we care for or hold off events because we are "scared"; I am talking about people you can't go a day without thinking about and things you can't go a day without researching. Time is the bane of our lives and it is not until we realise this that you we will truly appreciate the people and opportunities around us.

I guess what I am trying to say is, love hard and take advantage of life. It's the only thing your can take advantage of without being judged in this generation.

That was deep, Peace Out.

#MondayMotivation

I think this is something I have lived by. Another way of putting it is, be selectively stubborn. Stubborn behaviour is frequently seen as a negative...Why?! Being stubborn is a way of showing that you know what you want, that you are passionate and that you are not going to take no for an answer. There will be moments when nothing is going your way and you'll think 'this just isn't supposed to be' or if your like me express a few swear words, cry and then sleep, but nothing worth having will come to you easily, it takes time and (a word no one likes to hear)...patience. 

Happy Monday! 

Food For Thought

This applies to everyone. 

We forget. We forget that life is short. We forget the good that is infront of us. We forget that others happiness isn't always our happiness. As a reminder to others and myself, a small token of selflessness goes a long way. Forget material items, they are forgettable. Sacrifice your own emotions for someone else. This is a real token of gratitude. We are all humans, to most of us being selfless does not come naturally (guilty). So don't be disheartened when you make a decision and then look  back and think..."that was selfish of me" and go and sit on the naughty step and sulk for the rest of the day; get up, apologise and learn.

#CAUTION# If I make this sound easy, It is actually a lot harder to do in real life. But wait until you see the appreciation and happiness on the other persons face, it will be worth way more than the cheap piece of happiness you wanted in the beginning. 

Happy Friday! 

8 Binge Worthy TV Programmes

Is there any one out there like me that spends ages finding the perfect programme to watch to eat their dinner to, in fact, spends so long browsing that they are left with a cold dinner? #firstworldproblems If there is one thing I am an expert in, it is TV programmes! Netflix is not a hobby it is a lifestyle and today I am going to make things extra easy for you guys. Its okay to admit, sometimes...maybe all the time, Netflix is the highlight of our day. Although some of these aren't available on Netflix...they are still worth watching, I am only providing you with the best suggestions! and before you all wonder where Game of Thrones is...I am on the second episode (don't judge) 

First suggestion...

House Of Cards

9/10

I will not lie...this takes a couple of episodes to get into but, oh boy is it worth it. As a quick summary, HOC is basically about a corrupt man working his way up to presidency. Sounds dry and boring? Well I don't want to ruin the story plus I am rubbish at quick summaries so that's as much as you're getting out of me. But as a Netflix original, the whole series is released at once so it is perfect for those half-terms and christmas holidays when you are supposed to be revising!

Dance Moms

8/10

If you love 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' and other trashy american programmes well then you are going to fall in love with this one! Dance Moms has been one of my favourite programmes for a long time. Each episode is like being a fly-on-the-wall to the most entertaining arguments and barbaric teaching methods you will ever witness. But what makes it a good programme is that beyond the crazy dance moms, are the most talented 8-13 year olds. If you're like me, it will make you ponder upon the fact that you are a decade older than these children and have no rhythm what-so-ever.

Love and Hip Hop: (Atlanta, Hollywood and New York)

7/10

If you haven't noticed, you will soon. I am a sucker for cheesy american trash. Love and Hip Hop (Atlanta especially) will have your jaws on the floor. The story lines are so shocking you will wonder if the producers are mentally stable. You might even question your own sanity when you realise that you are entertained by them. It sounds like a bad thing but you will never find an episode that you are not entertained by.

Real Housewives (Beverly Hills, Orange County, New York and Atlanta)

8/10

I think this is already a popular one! A lot of my picks are guilty pleasures, programmes to watch in your own company and maybe the company of a non-judgemental pet. 'The Real Housewives' Saga is  now world wide (ooo Impressive) but out of the 11 I would say there are 6 worth watching - Orange County, New York, Beverly Hills, Cheshire and Melbourne. Do not be shocked if you watch the first episode and you are instantly hooked. This show is not only entertaining but it is extremely motivating!

Vanderpump Rules

8/10

Vanderpump Rules is a spin-off from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. YES! another trashy american tv programme that is extremely entertaining! Watching this is practically like being a fly on the wall to the kids of hollywood. Although their acting careers may not be as successful as they wish, they have their own exciting story lines...better than most films that come out of Hollywood! 

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

8/10

Yes, It is enraging how much power this family has.  But don't take it out on their series, it is actually entertaining if you have nothing to do with your day. The series is just so outrageously smothered with first world problems you just cannot help but love it! If you watch it and do not love it, then pigs will fly!

Dexter

9/10

Dexter. Again a very popular series, if you haven't seen it...DO IT! It will be the first series you will watch where the murderer is your favourite character! Long story short...It is the story of a police officer who's hobby is murdering. (with excellent precision I must say). Plus, it has now sadly finished so, another series to put in your binge-watch-basket.

Homeland

9/10

Homeland in a sense is a couples programme. Whether you are coupled with a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend or cat. There just needs to be someone there when you gasp at the frequent 'WTF' moments. It is such a intelligently put together programme that at first you will make you think "Move over! Where the Kardashians at?!" But give it time! It is so worth it.

Comment any TV Suggestions you have!

Happiness Begins At Home, Not On Facebook!

There's pressure on everyone nowadays to strive for a "perfect' life. Which is then expected to be documented constantly on social media, updating people we haven't spoken to in years or even at all everything that we are doing, people we are seeing and successes we have had. Weird isn't it?!

It isn't until you take a step back and say it out loud that you realise how superficial it all is. We look for happiness where happiness doesn't even exist and we find confidence in things that don't last, Facebook comments, twitter retweets and instagram likes. We have all been violently sucked into the technology era and its hard to see life without it. But when you turn your phone off or close your laptop what are you left with? A temporary slice of confidence from that Instagram photo that got over 10 likes. The constants that you are left with are family, friends and yourself.

This is why in a world of technology, its important to remember that technology isn't always the way forward. Take time to listen to friends, spend time with family and work on yourself.

Something I have realised recently is that once you have lost yourself, it is hard to find that person again. You start to rely on the things you know to keep you happy. And if you're not giving anything back...that big jar of happiness will be drained pretty quickly.

Its SO important to never give up on yourself...Yep, I just cringed as well but cliches are there for a reason, to remind you that happiness comes from the most everyday things. Keep yourself busy and constantly work towards your goals.

Turn off your phones, laptops, iPads, iPods (and anything else that is used to access the internet, just in a different size) and have a conversation with someone. Trust me, this happiness will last longer than that last selfie you took...

Sade  x

Guide To Securing Internships: Fashion Student Edition

What do we want?

Fashion Internships!

When do we want them?

Now!

For most of us fashion students the hardest part about starting our career is getting the 30+ years experience employers want before they hire you (Oh, and this is all before you reach the age of 25). So I have compiled a thorough guide on internships available and tips and tricks to help you get them. Remember, employers like people with a wide range of skills so be open minded when applying for internships.

WHAT INTERNSHIPS SHOULD I APPLY FOR?

For me, I have come to realise that as someone who wants to work in the creative industry I should grab every opportunity I get to build on my experience, even if it isn't directly what I want to do. Say you want to be a designer, an internship in a print studio would only make you a more rounded and appealing to an employer. Experience in other area will not harm your chances of getting into the industry, but NO experience will! 

WHERE DO YOU FIND INTERNSHIPS?

Job Websites

It's an old folk myth that fashion internships are hard to find. After going on an internship spree I discovered some pretty impressive websites that offer internships in all areas of the industry. But despite the positive side, going through all the internships can take HOURS so make a day of it, have some trashy TV on in the background and take your time narrowing down the ones you actually want to apply for.

www.fashionworkie.com
www.internmagazine.co.uk
www.indeed.co.uk
www.fashionunited.co.uk
www.gothinkbig.co.uk

Brand Career Websites

There are a few branded internship opportunities which would be incredible opportunities for any fashion student as some of them are overseas. I'll leave the links below to each one I have come across.

HnM - Stockholm
All Saints - England
Levis - San Francisco

Magazines

If living the real life Devil Wears Parada is a personal dream of yours then one of these magazine internships would be perfect! Send a tailored CV and Cover Letter to the chosen company. Also be aware that Conde Nast and Heart (Conde Nast are own the renowned Vogue and Hearst owns ELLE) only allow you to have one internship with them so choose which company you want to work with wisely!

Conde Nast Company

Vogue - vogue-editorial@condenast.co.uk

GLAMOUR - amy.warren@condenast.co.uk or charlotte.lewis@condenast.co.uk

Hearst Company

Cosmo - work.experience@cosmopolitan.co.uk

ELLE - gillian.brett@elleuk.com  

Harpers Bazaar - info@harpersbazaar.co.uk

Other

New! - jodie.spragg@express.co.uk

Business Of Fashion - info@businessoffashion.com

REISS - Careers@reiss.co.uk

Social Media

Twitter - We underestimate the power of social media! all you have to do it type 'fashion internship' or 'fashion work experience' into the twitter search bar and you are guaranteed to find 5-10 internship placements

Instagram - I personally have only used Instagram once or twice but there are a number of smaller brands looking for fashion design studio assistants, just search #fashionintern. Any experience is good experience!

TIPS ON HOW TO APPLY

• Research The Brand: As well as knowing the brand for the interview, you need to know the brand for yourself! It will help you judge weather the internship is for you or not. 
• Find Out What The Brand Wants: This will help you when it comes to addressing the brand in your tailored CV and Cover Letter.
• Tailor your CV and Cover Letter: Tailor your CV and Cover Letter. These companies receive 1000's of CV's everyday, personalise yours and address the company personally, this will make a big difference! 

Good Luck! 

Sxde Txwo