Why You Should Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

We have all done it and probably will do it again sometime in our not-to-distant future.

Feeling sorry for yourself. If you're like me then the reason you feel sorry for yourself is because it feels good. When you feel sorry for yourself what you are really telling yourself is that you are a better person than the situation that has been dealt to you. And that is a very arrogant way of thinking.

It would be a better attitude for us to think 'Damn, I didn't get that job. Better luck next time'. The trouble comes when something really hard happens and we chose to stop and milk it for attention. There is no progress in that and it gets us nowhere. It can also be quite annoying.

When you go to the gym. You are not building your muscles. You are literally tearing them down. When you lift weights you are doing damage to your muscles. The reason your muscles grow is because your body goes into repair mode so that next time you lift the weight, it won't hurt.

It is like that with our emotions too.

Once we experience something hard. It tears us down and really hurts.

We screw up and embarrass ourselves or lose a job and have no money. But honestly, there is not a bad thing that won't return a greater blessing. We will always come out stronger and life will throw a lot of pain at you, to the point where you think it is all a joke.

But why shouldn't we feel sorry for ourselves?

We shouldn't feel sorry for ourselves because it stops us from gaining that emotional muscle. We can either have the blessing of a stronger character or the instant gratification of self-pity.

What we have to do instead is to ask ourselves what we can learn from the situation.

If it was our fault, we have to take ownership of what we did.
If it wasn't our fault, then we have to realise that there are no flowers without rain.

I have to check myself everyday for thoughts of self-pity. It won't come overnight but if you want to be successful in life then take every chance to grow and adapt, including the shit situations!

Why Is Being Patient So Painful Nowadays?

It is true.

For me, being patient is almost as painful as watching grass grow.

I have a lack of patience. In fact, our generation has a lack of patience. Living in a generation where we can solve many of our problems with a few taps on our phone has drained our generation of any patience that was originally there.

Thank you, technology for your ability to turn a generation of kids who had the patience to solve Rubix Cubes, the patience to think of 100 different type of Neopets names (90's kids, please tell me you know what I am on about? If not you were robbed of a significant part of your childhood) and the patience to watch movies when they actually came out on DVD.

This development of technology has made us believe that if we want or need something we can and should get it when we want. This is unrealistic and puts a stupid amount of pressure on...

Our Education..."Why have I not learnt everything I was told in lecture today? I am going to fail!"
Our Careers..."I should be further in my career by now, I am not going to make it like I thought I would"
Our Relationships..."You need to change now, otherwise we can't be together"

Dramatic, but realistic thoughts that have developed because we have been built to believe anything can happen at a snap-of-the fingers.

We need to be taught the art of patience and waiting and I don't mean waiting for something to be dropped into your hands but working hard and striving, knowing that your hard work will not instantly be paid off.

How painful does that sound? But it's life and something that we all need to accept!

Recipe Of The Week: Chewy Cookies!

INGREDIENTS	METHOD
175g Unsalted  Butter	Pre-heat oven to 170 degrees and grease baking tray
225g Light Brown Sugar	Melt the Butter and leave to cool for 2 minutes
100g Granulated Sugar	Stir in the sugars until it is thoroughly combined
1 Tsp Vanilla Extract	Add the Egg, Egg Yolk and Vanilla and beat for 5 minutes
1 Medium Egg	Add all the dry ingredients and fold in choice chips
1 Medium Egg Yolk	Using a cookie scoop, portion the cookies onto the tray (4-6 per tray)
275g Plain Flour	Bake for 12-13 minutes and cool for 10 minutes
1/2 Tsp Bicarbonate of Soda 1/2 Tsp Salt 325g Milk Choc Chips

"White People Music"

Man, I have been asked this a lot.

I don't limit myself to one genre of music but it is only when I listen to pop or an alternative genre of music that I get asked this question. Though technically "white people music" isn't a genre, it is just a way of segregating people into groups. Music can be powerful but what is unity without segregation in this generation? 

Just a quick reminder that music has no race. Just because it may appeal to one race more than the other means nothing. Listen to what you like and enjoy, whether it is the most overplayed song on the radio or an unknown song from Soundcloud. Music is music. 

*listens to Lady Gaga*

  

Surprisingly Tasty Apple and Cinnamon Squares!!!

INGREDIENTS	METHOD
1 Cup All Purpose Flour	Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees and grease square tin
1 Tsp Baking Powder	Sift together Flour/ Salt/ Ground Cinnamon and set aside
1/4 Tsp Salt	In another bowl, mix together Butter, Brown Sugar and White Sugar
1/4 Tsp Ground Cinnamon	Stir in Eggs and Vanilla into the Butter mixture
1/4 Cup Butter (Melted)	Mix flour into the mixture and fold the apples and walnuts in
1/2 Brown Sugar	Spread mixture into a square tin
1/2 White Sugar	In a bowl, Mix together the remaining Sugar and Cinnamon
1 Egg	Sprinkle over the top of the mixture
1 Tsp Vanilla Extract	Bake for 30 Minutes and cool for 10 Minutes
1/2 Cup Chopped Apple
1/2 Cup Chopped Walnuts 2 Tbs Brown Sugar 2 Tbs Ground Cinnamon

12 Hours In London

Recipe Of The Week: Crazy Coffee Cake!!!

INGREDIENTS	METHOD
1 Tsp Baking Powder	Cream together Butter/ Sugar/ Vanilla Escence and Baking Powder
1 Tbs Instant Coffee	Beat in Eggs and alternate between Eggs and Flour
175g Butter	Dissolve Coffee in 10ml of hot water and add to mixture with Walnuts
175g Light Brown Sugar	Spoon evenly into two greased cake trays
175g Self Raising Flour	Bake for 25 minutes at 180 celcius, cool for 10 minutes
3 Medium Eggs	(For Filling)
50g Chopped Walnuts	Cream Butter and Icing Sugar in a small bowl
1/2 Tsp Vanilla Escence	Dissolve Tsp of Coffee into 2 Tsp of Hot Water
(For Filling)	Add 200ml of double cream and mix
100g Butter	Spread half the mixture on the top of the cake and half in the middle
150g Icing Sugar	Decorate the top of the cake with spare walnuts and TAH DAH!
1 Tsp Instant Coffee
200ml Double Cream

   

Recipe Of The Week: Cranberry and Orange Flapjacks! (Better Than Starbucks)

INGREDIENTS	METHOD
500g Butter	Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees Celsius (fan)
300g Golden Syrup	In a pan, melt the Butter, Sugar and Golden Syrup
350g Brown Sugar	Once the ingredients have melted add the oats
750g Oats	Mix until the oats are completely covered in the syrup
1 Cup Cranberries	Once that is done, take the pan off the heat
(For Orange Icing)	In a greased baking tray, add half the mixture
1/3 Cup Butter	Then evenly distribute half of the cranberry over the mixture
200g Icing Sugar	Add the over half of oats evenly over the mixture
2 Tbs Orange Juice	Then add the last half of the cranberries
	Bake for around 25minutes
	(Cool for 1hr before putting icing on)
	(For Icing)
	Mix all the icing ingredients together in a jug till it is smooth
	Pour the icing over in a criss cross manner
	(A piping bag can also be used if you wanted the icing to be more    precise)
	Leave to cool for 20mins

Recipe Of The Week: Cinnamon Topped Blueberry Muffin Loaf!

INGREDIENTS	METHOD
200g Plain Flour	Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees Celsius
150g Sugar (Granulated or Light Brown)	Grease and line loaf tin
1/2 Tsp Salt	Combine Flour/ Sugar/ Salt and Baking Powder
2tsp Baking Powder	Mix in Oil/ Egg and Milk
75ml Vegatable Oil	Fill loaf tin with mixture
1 Egg	(For Topping)
75ml Milk	Combine Sugar/ Flour/ Butter and Cinnamon
150g Fresh or Frozen Blueberries	With cool fingertips rub ingredients together
(For Topping)	The ingredients should become a crumb-like mixture
100g Light Brown Sugar	Sprinkle topping over cake mixture
50g Plain Flour	Bake for around 50minutes
50g Butter (cubed)	Cool for 10minutes
2 Tbs Ground Cinnamon

5 Hours In London

The Pressures & Struggles Of Coming From A Mixed Heritage Background

Now, today we are going to get deep. We are going to discuss something personal to me and many others. Something that we may not think about everyday or even every week but has affected us at some point in our lives.

The pressures of coming from a mixed heritage background.

There. I said it. There are pressures.

Pressure to have thick curly hair.
Pressure to have perfectly smooth light skin.
Pressure to have blue or green coloured eyes.
Pressure to have curves.
Pressure to look like the glorified mixed people people on social media.

Just like anything repetitive event in your life, you get used it.

You know you're mixed when people feel entitled to know "what" you are.
When people think its okay to claim or reject you for their race whenever it is convenient to them.
When you can't relate to either side of your family because you weren't raised in their culture.
When people express that "they wish they had your skin tone".
When you have to tick a generalised term on application forms such as "other" or "black and white african".
When people accuse you of siding with one side of your culture, agreeing to the fact that yes you are mixed but you act white or behave black.

When really, that's all you've known and you're just being you.

And what do people expect you to say when...

They ask you why your african heritage hasn't given you curly hair
or the curvaceous body your ancestors possess?
Why you you don't have the blue eyes of your mother?
Or why you listen to 'white' music.

We do not realise the ignorance behind these questions until we take a step back.

As a child of mixed-heritage, I do feel privileged. But not because of my skin tone. I feel privileged because I have a true understanding of two cultures and that is something most people will not have the chance to experience.


✌️🏽

Recipe Of The Week: Carrot Cake With Orange Drizzle!

Ingredients

• 3 Large Eggs

• 140g Grated Carrot

• 1 Large Oraged (Zested and Juiced)

• 175g Self-Raising Flour

• 1 Tsp Bicarbonate Of Soda

• 1 Tsp Ground Cinnamon

• 1/2 Tsp Grated Nutmeg 

(For Frosting)

• 175g Icing Sugar

• 2 Tbs Orange Juice

Method

• Heat the oven to 180c/Fan 160/Gas 4 and oil and line the tin

• Tip the sugar into a large mixing bowl and pour in the oil, eggs and lightly mix. Stir in grated carrot and orange zest

• Mix the flour, bicarbonate of soda and spices then sift into the bowl and lightly mix all the ingredients

• Pour the mixture into the tin and bake for 40-45minutes. Cool for 5mins and then empty onto a wire rack

• Beat frosting ingredients in a small bowl and drizzle over cooled cake

F**cking Life, Or Is Life F**cking Us?

Sometimes you just have to swallow your words and wait.

Wait for things to blow over or get better or to be forgotten.

That is the hardest lesson of life. Learning to be patient, learning that time is the only true healer.

When you have found something or someone you love. Hold on to it and work at it everyday, if you think you're going to be given your dream job or a perfect husband on a silver platter, you've misunderstood life. Life challenges us in ways that not one single human could.

One moment you will have things under control and then the next it will be shattered into pieces waiting for you to put it back together. You are in control of your life and what you do, humans are programmed to be selfish so don't expect anyone to come and help pick up your pieces when they have pieces of their own to be putting back together.

There will be times when you are frustrated, confused, angry and annoyed...sometimes all at once. Trust your journey and know that every negative thing you go through is helping you become who you are supposed to be.

Whether you fall in love with something or someone. Do it for the rest of your life. Brace yourselves for the cliche of the year...life is fucking short. When you are laying in bed mad at your boyfriend, girlfriend or friend, or just frustrated that you have not made the progress you would have wanted to by now in your career. Just think, if you haven't given up by now, the motivation and love is still there; anything worth having will not come easy. I really do not believe in giving up anymore, not that I have believed in it but I did give up a lot when things were hard. If you want something...fight for it (another saying that probably has you cringing in your seats). Allow yourself to be shamed, taken advantage of or embarrassed. If the love is real and the passion is there, it will be worth it.

You're thinking "fucking hell, that's a bit dramatic". Well, welcome to life, where everything is blown out of proportion and people are taken for granted everyday.

We don't have enough days in our life time to be mad at people we care for or hold off events because we are "scared"; I am talking about people you can't go a day without thinking about and things you can't go a day without researching. Time is the bane of our lives and it is not until we realise this that you we will truly appreciate the people and opportunities around us.

I guess what I am trying to say is, love hard and take advantage of life. It's the only thing your can take advantage of without being judged in this generation.

That was deep, Peace Out.

#OOTD Gold Elements

Shoes - ASOS

Make Up Palette - Benefit 

Roll-On Perfume - Victoria's Secret

Lipstick - Elizabeth Arden: Coral Fizz 32

Bag - Zara

Blazer - Zara

Necklace - New Look 

Recipe Of The Week: The Most AMAZING Apple Crumble

Ingredients 

• 6 Apples (Peeled, cored and diced)
• 250g Caster Sugar
• 200g Flour
• 120g Butter 
• Cinnamon Powder

Methods 

• Put the apple chunks into a pan, add three quarters of the sugar and 2 teaspoons of cinnamon powder (I LOVE cinnamon so I put an extra teaspoon but add to your own preference). Allow to stew gently for half an hour, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon. Keep checking as they can easily burn at the beginning.
• Check that the fruit is cooked by mashing it a bit with a wooden spoon. The apples should be soft but not puréed.
• Put the apples into the serving dish and allow to cool. Set the temperature of the oven to 150 C / gas 2.
• Mix the flour, remaining sugar and the butter with your fingers in a bowl until it becomes like a breadcrumb consistency. Cover the stewed apples with the crumble topping, without pressing down.
• Bake for approximately 30 minutes or until the crumble is golden brown and crunchy. Spoon a helping of crumble into a dish and serve with custard or ice cream.